Well this morning when the kids woke up I told them before they could go play with friends I wanted to take pictures where Arianna took her ballet pix. There was a waterfall there so who do you think fell in. Nope, Robert but he blamed it on Nickolas. But Nickolas was the one to step in dog crap. I love spending time with my kids. I just wish my husband would see the good times and not just  when I'm on my last nerve with my kids. I  think that is because and I hope because when there playing with other people they are on there best behavior. So when they come home they just need to be themselves. I understand why my husband gets so mad at me for letting my kids  just walk all over me. The only way I know to disipline my kids is to raise my voice and I rather do that than hit my kids. My husband doesn't understand that since it's easier for him to use strength to get his family to listen to him. I get so depressed when I hear or see couples and families  that look so perfect and are so happy.  Then I think to myself that it must be me since my patience level is very low. I also have a tendency to tell you what I'm thinking at that percise moment no matter who you are or where we are. Maybe that's why I live in Utah and my family lives in California, so I wont imbarass them. I probably do a little bit when I tell them my stories.My husband is trying to decide on wether or not to sell or re-finiance our house. I don't want to move for two reasons, the first one because my Dad keeps on telling me that they're going to move to Utah, maybe I'm crazy for believing that especially knowing my Mom and the only pair of pants and jacket she owns are for when she visits us in Utah. Then the second reason is because my brother Mike who passed away has a picture with my boys and my daughter when they were younger. It wasn't the same house but it was the same floor plan. So it's like having one last thing to hold on to. That probably sounds soooo stupid but that's the way I feel. Since when my brother was first married him and his wife lived with us and when they built there first house that my husband built was in the City Center a couple of blocks from us. When we had to move from our house in the City Center I wanted to move to the Ranches. The last dinner my brother had was at my house that reminds me of this house. I know I need to get past that but I'll do it in my own due time. 

Well it has been awhile since I have updated my blog. Yesterday, my husband and boys came home from Wyoming, and we celebrated Nickolas' 9th birthday. It was GREAT! They  woke up early to come home so dealing with Nickolas who didn't have enough sleep . I already had a headache before the party. I am so thankful for my neighbors for barbecuing the meat I supplied. I am so grateful for all of  my friends and family and the support and love they give me. If I didn't have them I think everyone would think I was psycho and not just my husband. I really appreciate it if you do think I'm psycho but I don't know about it. Arianna has already told me that for her birthday in July she wants to go to Chuck E. Cheese, because now they sell birthday cakes. On Monday my daughter and I saw " Kung Fu Panda. " We went to an early movie after lunch and there was  probably about 5 or 6 other people there which was nice. Take care until next time.

Yesterday, we went to our boys baseball game. They are in the play-offs and they win there first game. So I think this means there in the world series, or something like that. The principal of the new school the kids are going to be going to has a son on the team. So I showed Arianna who he was and she said, "He's handsome!" I got a crack out of that. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she told me that everyone is coming over on Sunday. I said what for and she told me it's Father's Day. Surprise!  I hope this blog is letting everyone know what's going on in our life. If you have any questions or concerns call me. Our home phone is off so you'll have to call my cell phone. I can't believe in 6 days he will be 9. Plus in 28 days my daughter will be 6. My birthday will fall in between there also. I hope that my husband has planned a BIG surprise party. I only say that because only 2 times we have done something BIG, all the other times he has worked. I don't think he reads my blog anyways and he's not the surprise party planner type. But that's O.K. I think I have had one surprise party when we have been married, and only his family was invited. Last year I think I was in California. Which reminded me when I was younger and my sister and I celebrated our birthdays together since we were born 2 years and 1 week apart. I love my sister and brothers with all of my heart. I miss not being able to see and talk with them face to face. It hurts me when I hear of them having problems and I'm not closer so I can help them. I hate seeing other people hurting and not be able to help. 

Yesterday we went swimming which was fun because ther weren't a lot of people. My husband hasn't had any jobs so far this week so we've been able to do things I probably wouldn't do with out him here. But he alredy let me know that the first part of next week he has a job in flaming gorge, so he wont be home those nights. Today he took the boys to the batting cages and out to lunch and swimming. For a boys day. So of course my daughter has already asked, "When is mommy and little girls day?" I think it is really important for my husband to do this with his kids. Not just because it's a break sort of for me but kids need the one on one time with there parent. I think my daughter has a date with her dad this weekend. Tonight the boys have there first play-off game for baseball, Go Yankess! Last Saturday my daughter was in a parade with her dance class, for Pony Express Days, they were all dressed in there costumes of Alice in Wonderland for there recital. Her recital is June 28. I took my daughter to the park today and we saw some people we knew there with there kids and kids they watch and they where leaving, to have a picnic,  so I sked my daughter if she was ready to go and one of the ladies said she had extra food if my daughter and I wanted to come with them. So I asked, "Are you hungry? She said "No." Which I didn't think so since we ate before we came to the park. So then we went home. Probably if she was hungry I would of just taken her home anyways, It's hard for me to except offers like that, because what if what they have my child doesn't like or they eat to much. So that's why we eat before or when we come back. I think I need to work on that being the one to except someones help instead of giving the help. My younger son has a birthdayin eight days and he will be 9. He is my hardest but also my one that was born on the same date as my car accident 6 years later. I guess that's one way to keep my mind on other things. I guess in a way I am thankful for the distraction.  

Well yesterday I took the kids to get haircuts I'll try to post the pictures. Arianna just got an inch cut off. But since I took the boys and my husband wasn't home to watch her I decided to get her hair a trim. Like I did Last summer. She still needs it long enough to put in a bun for ballet.  I usually go to California for a month in the summer, but Arianna has dance until the end of July. So I guess I will stay in Utah for the summer. But I think my parents are coming out in August. I am really excited, I love when my parents come to visit, I only wish my sister would come out with her family or if her husband is anything like mine and can't take off work or doesn't want to at least her and her girls. We love the men in our life. How ever much they get on our nerves. My husband got wireless internet yesterday and they put something on our house and of course it was really windy last night and we watched  National Treasure 2, so by the time I went to bed I only got a couple hours of sleep until something was hitting the side of the house. So I read 2 chapters of the 3rd book of the Twilight series. Those books are very interesting. I hope we will have a family vacation this summer. My husband is trying to cut down on expense around the house so we are probably going to turn off our house phone and just use our cell phones. So we have been trying to help our kids memorize our numbers. I think all three of the kids know at least mine by now.  

I love my children and husband with all of my heart. I am very grateful for my extended family. They don't realize how much of an example they are to my sons and husband. I am so thankful for the Lord in my life. I know from personal experience that miracles are real and for that I am eternally grateful. I am so thankful for my parents for bringing me up in the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. With out it I am afraid were I would be today. I am so thankful for the atoning sacrifice of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. I know without a shadow of a doubt that families are for ever and with that knowledge I know I can live with my family for eternity. Even my brother Mike. I testify that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. Every time I read it is confirmed to me. Well tomorrow starts summer vacation. So through this blog might be the only way I will be talking to anyone. I need to work on controlling my anger and working on my patients and yelling.  When I think I am doing better at it I snap and it's usually around my husband who makes me feel worse about myself and that I'm a bad mom and my kids are going to hate me. I don't think kids realize how much crap we put up with, and how much we do love them no matter what they do.