I know it has been awhile since I've written on my blog but I decided to write since tomorrow is my daughters birthday and on Saturday the kids and I are flying to California to visit my family. I hope it will be fun for the kids as it will be for me. I want to do something that the boys will enjoy. After we come home we will probably have soccer practice for my daughter and football practice for the boys. Then it's back to school in August. I decided to put the kids on the early track which starts at 8:00 in the morning. I think that will be better since they wake up early anyways so they can wake up and get ready for school instead of goofing around like last year. Plus I think it will be better for my oldest, since I'm not sure what time seventh grade starts. Well we will see. I think today our family is going to go on a tour to see our new temple the Oquirrh temple. That should be a fun family activity. Well I probably well write again when I get back from California. I don't know when that will be since we only bought tickets there not for the flight back. So until I write again.

Here we go again with another week. I talked with someone yesterday about all my drama and now that I am not keeping it bottled up any more I have decided to just get over it. I can't change anybody else but myself. I don't want to change the way I am completely all just have to be careful who I get close to and what I share to others. I almost forgot who I should always turn to when things just aren't going the way I expected. Well as for the kids there doing great the baseball game for the boys was cancelled yesterday because it was raining. Which was good in a way since on Friday my oldest sprained his thumb playing teather ball. Well I need to go get ready for church so until next time.

Well today is the first day of May and I'm writing once again. There's not too much going on well there is but if I get into it I will get upset and start to cry. The kids are almost home and I have to be strong for the kids.  But I can say 28 more days of school. I have to be very careful what I write because you never know who reads these. My boys have there first baseball game on Saturday at there old school and they are really excited about that. I think I want to start my daughter in tap dancing classes when we get money if we get money. I hate dandelions  I swear I will pick them and the next day there are 10 or 15 more. I think I'm going to get some stuff that kills them. Until next time talk to you later!

Well I just got home from volunteering at the kids school. I graded a spelling test and kept score while they played Deal or No Deal in teams on some science stuff before a science test. My son asked me to slide on his grounding today. But I told him I have before and he doesn't treat me any differently than he always does. It's funny at school when I'm helping in one sons class he's all lovey dovey but he has the worst attitude at home. I guess these are my trials for this part of my life. It's funny how defensive I get when my kids get put down or talked bad about. I guess if it makes people feel better to think there kids are better than mine and mine are awful, whatever! I know I yell a lot but my kids have been pretty good the last little while and they walked home after there baseball practice yesterday right after. I love my children so much!

Well here I am again. On monday it was the hottest day this week so of course my middle child was out all day and got sunburn on his neck, arms and legs. My youngest wasn't out as long but got sunburn on the neck. But it wouldn't be Utah if it didn't snow and of course that's what it did this morning. My husband had a job in Nevada but it was snowing so everyone came home. But he might work for the same company that has an office in Los Angeles, California for the summer. I have been trying to start a new life with my family in Utah but I want to move back to California to be closer to my family. People are so different in Utah than California. I do have friends in Utah but I miss my family a lot more. I wanted to try to make it on my own with my own family and new friends but I want to be by my family. It's so hard growing up around a lot of family involvement and getting married and there is hardly any. I think I'm just am just being a big boob or a least that's what my husband would tell me that's why I can't talk to him because I would rather just write about it then have my husband make me feel like an idiot. Well I better go and make lunch for the family. Until next time.

Well my parents are gone and I did have a good time with them. My daughters best friend is glad they are gone since she told her she didn't want to play while her grandma was here. My boys like to stay after school and play tether ball so maybe I will look into getting them one or making a home made one. Tonight is my daughters first grade program at her school. My parents and I went to a rehearsal yesterday since they were leaving early this morning. Now I better go to pick up my boys since they are still at school and didn't let anyone know they were staying. Hopefully the next time I write I will have more to say. Next week is my kids spring break.

Well it's been another week and everything is going well. My mom and dad are coming out on Thursday so I'm really excited about that. I love it when they come out since I don't get to see them as often as I would like to. I woke up this morning with a sore throat. So far on my diet that I'm doing I have lost five pounds and I wish I would of lost more but the good news is I'm not gaining more. My husband says if I do it for 1 more week (the diet) and if I don't lose anymore more than I've already lost I could stop if I wanted. But I guess it's good because I'm eating more fruit and now I can sort of monitor what I'm eating. Plus drinking more water. Now we are getting ready for church. I'm wondering do you think every dream comes true? For the last couple of nights I have had a real disturbing dream about myself so I was just wondering. I keeping seeing kids I used to teach in church when they were 2 and in the fall they are going to start kindergarten. They look so much older than the little kids I used to teach. Now I can understand when my parents come and say that my kids look so much different than the last time they saw them. I'll try to write on my blog before my parents come if I remember if not I'll try to write after there gone. So until I write again. Bye.

My oldest came back from camp this afternoon. I asked if he had fun, he said yes but the snow was up to his waist. Plus the three pairs of socks he took were soaking wet. He also said there was a mouse in his cabin that got into his sleeping bag that he picked up with his feet and then got it in his hand and threw it across the room and it died. I also called the place were I applied for the job and the manager told me since 5 other restaurants within a 10 mile radius of the place were I applied just opened up they are having to cut back on the employees hours they already have. But to keep checking back every once and awhile. So I will probably check back when the kids are back in school next year. Since they only have about a month left. Which is good for my  mom and dad since my mom wasn't very excited when I told her I had an interview and might be getting a job. Tonight is my sons pinewood derby for scouts. My daughter came in the house and told me she was freezing. Then her friend came over to see if she could play but I was going to make dinner so I said no, and that was just the end of the world and she told me I only knew the word no. I just love it when your kids think there smarter than you are. Well I better go it's time for my sons scouts.

Well here I go again. Tomorrow my oldest is going on a camp out with his school. It's only for one night and be back on Tuesday. I think it is going to be fun. I saw pictures of where there going from the teacher. Now my daughter was feeling fine yesterday and played with our neighbor all day after we came home from grocery shopping and running around. My middle child was complaining that his leg hurt and he had scratches all over. I asked Why? The answer I got was I was climbing trees. Go figure, no wonder his legs hurt and he had scratches. Tomorrow I go check back with the place I applied for a job. I hope they have good news for me. Keep me in your prayers. I'm sorry I haven't been posting pictures on my blog but my husband did something different with our pictures and I haven't figured it out yet. My husband bought me Twilight the movie yesterday. We all watched it last night. I'm going to a baby shower on Wednesday night. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to give? I usually just give diapers because I'm not really sure of the sex. A boy and a girl can both get diapers. Last week my husband had a few jobs so cross my fingers it's starting to pick up again. Well that's all for now but I'll be back!

Well hello there! I would of wrote sooner today but my daughter throw-up this morning so she stayed home from school. For the last past couple of days she has been complaining of her stomach hurting but she has gone to school and plays after school and eats dinner and has been fine. Except for today I woke her up she asked for a drink of water and then it all came up. So since she threw-up I kept her home from school. But as soon as the boys came home from school she told me I feel so much better. My oldest son came home from school with blood on his the arm of his jacket. I asked what happened and he said that a kid pushed him off of the bar at school. I was all upset asking 20 questions. My son kept saying Yes mom I told the office and was rolling his eyes. Then when my other son heard us talking about it told his brother show me who it was and I'll beat him up. He is all talk and no action. My friend told me of a store that was hiring so yesterday I went to get a job application but they told me they didn't have any left but I could go on line and put in my resume. So since I was in town I decided to look at some more places. They just told me they weren't hiring but I finally went to a place where they were hiring but only dayshifts. I said that's perfect that's what I need. So the manager had me fill out job application there and was talking to me about what I expected from the job and what days and hours I could work. They also told me to come check back at the beginning of next week. So we'll see what happens. I better go and make dinner. So until next time. See Ya.

Well I have decided that my blog is sort of like my journal. This morning I watched the movies I made for my kids and my husband and I never thought I could ever love anyone so unconditionally as I love my mom and dad and brothers and sister. But I do. I have been on a detox for my body so I can loose weight. I have already lost 4 pounds. We went to the temple earlier this week and did some endowments for my husbands dead family. It was nice to see the temple, I don't know how to explain it but when I go to the temple it always makes me feel like everything I've been feeling just goes away. Even though it doesn't it feels that way when I'm in the temple. If only I could stay there all day. I talk to my family in California yesterday and that was nice. Even though I can't see my family every day I am glad for cell phones so I can at least talk to them every day if I want to. I even talked to my brothers new girlfriend. She seems really nice and I even found out her parents live in Utah and friends that live in the same place we do. So hopefully this means that he will come visit. We will see. I'm going to have something to eat before we go to church.

I have  decided instead of making my sister or friends listen to all my problems, I'll just write them down on my blog. I feel better when I write it down. I feel like I have been putting on weight because with my husband not having work and always being home makes me feel so lazy. Plus since I'm home I'm always snacking. So I guess my husband has been sending out his resume but it looks as if Utah is not hiring because all the response he has got back is New York and New Orleans. So now I'm getting a little stressed out. When I talk about it I start really thinking about our situation and look at how bad it is. It's just times like this that I wish I had family that lived in Utah. I wish I could see my family more than I do. It's very different after I got married because my family and extended family would get together all the time. But I guess since everyone lives so far from everybody else it's  more difficult. Well I'm so sorry if this sounds like a pity party. So I will give you information on my kids. My oldest is getting so grown up it seems to me like just the other day we were bringing him home from the hospital after he was born. Now for my next oldest I can remember bringing him home from the hospital not for being born but for having a busted lip for falling off his booster seat. Now for my last and final child, I remember being so glad to come home from the hospital and to have all my kids at home. I am so glad to have them and thank God for them everyday!

Well here I am again! A new day has come, and here I am writing on my blog again. Things are better like my sister told me we all have to go through rough times. I am so glad when I'm happy I don't like to be down and depressed. Saturday I took my boys to get hair cuts and of course my daughter wanted her hair cut so all of my kids got hair cuts. My oldest is changing from a boy to a Man. That's very interesting. We have had the talk from some papers his doctor gave me. I thought my son was going to die and kept asking if I was done so he could watch T.V. That made me sort of happy but I rather him hear it from me than someone else. So if he has questions he'll come to me hopefully. I saw a good movie on Saturday but it was long and my husband even watched it with me. The movie was "Australia" with Nicole Kidman. I really liked it. We had a friend over on Saturday who said he would start me on a diet. I asked him where I should be weight wise and he told me about 115 or 120. So I hope it is helping I go to the gym 3 times a week. I want to get a better eating habit or just start eating more healthy. Well I better go to have F.H.E. So until next  time. 

Well hello strangers! Well let me keep you updated on everything that has been going on with our lives. The boys have been playing basketball since January but it is now coming to an end. Even though the boys were on different teams they loved playing and want to play next year. Which well be better for me because they will be in the same age group and on the same team. But now it is time for baseball and they will be on the same team. But Arianna wants to play soccer this year so we are just waiting for the sign ups. My husband is going to start school in May. I have been such a source of faith for my husband since his work has been slow for the last little while. Just reminding him this is how it usually is this time of the year, and it always picks up. But yesterday I just had a melt down thinking that everything wasn't going to work out like it always does. I hate having undeniable faith and letting the devil work his way in and have me question my faith. I remember the last time this happened it was the fast sunday after my brother was killed in a car accident. I was walking up to bare my testimony, and I started to doubt and question everything I'd ever borne in my testimonies ever before. I want to be able to not go through this anymore because it makes me feel so bad and terrible, and it makes me feel like I'm contradicting myself after making my husband start to believe because of my faith and belief. If anybody reading this has any advice I would love to hear it and gladly except it. I try to be strong for friends and family. But I guess  we all need help sometimes. I just wish I didn't have to have this as one of my trials. I need to go and make dinner for my family. Hopefully I can be more current on my blog. It's easier to write my feelings than talk about them. So until next time. 

Well Christmas is over and Santa was very good to us this year. The weekend before Christmas we spent it celebrating with my husbands brothers and sisters in Logan along with his parents and his Aunt. Then on Monday the 22 my daughter had a dance recital. She loved it and loves dance. Yesterday my in-laws came over at night we had dinner and opened more presents. I hope everyone reading this had a very merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year, may god keep you and yours safe in the year to come!

I didn't realize how much sacrifice and running around it took to have older kids. With sports and school activities plus church stuff. I guess you really can tell if you love your kids or anyone for that matter, if you are willing to sacrifice things for them. When we were down in California for Thanksgiving my sister and her family, my mom and dad, plus our family went to Disneyland. When my husband took the boys on some rides. The rest of us took the girls to see tinkerbell and her friends. For how long the line was I was expecting something spectacular. But there wasn't so after that my sister and I took our oldest girls on Space Mountain. Which was a treat for the moms. That is my absolute favorite roller coaster at Disneyland. At the end of the ride they take our picture and if it didn't cost an arm and a leg that would of been a picture worth keeping. My sisters daughter looked like she was scared to death my daughter had her head down my sister was smiling and it looked as if the speed was pulling the skin on my face back. Oh the memories we will have. I love spending time with all of my family. I am hoping they all can come to Utah next November for Thanksgiving and for when my son gets the priesthood. Well I need to go fix dinner for my family.

I'm back it has been so crazy in my life. Let me fill you in. I will start off with some good news I got a new car sold our van to our neighbors. It is so nice driving a car again, it has been at least 6 or 7 years. We had family pictures taken by my sister in law. We went to California to visit my family for Thanksgiving. It was so nice seeing my brother and sister and their families. I was so surprised how well all the kids got along. It just goes to show that my babies are growing up. We got home on Tuesday my neighbor pick us up and dropped us off at the airport. I can not thank them enough. Early Thursday morning I woke up and decided to go look for something of Robert's couldn't find it so went to ask him if he had it. When I turned on the light I saw two piles of throw up on his floor. I have to admit something throw up and I don't go together so I woke up Rob and asked him to help. He did, and while we were cleaning it up my other son woke up  to go the bathroom. He came into my oldest son's room to ask what we were doing we told him what happened and he went back to bed. We cleaned it up and we all went back to bed. Not more than 2 minutes later someone threw up again. Thought it was the same son but when I woke up I found out it was the other one. So we cleaned that one up and went to bed. It must of been a 24 hour thing because they didn't throw up again and they were both tired but went to school. The next morning I took my youngest son to an orthodontist consultation. The good news is that he probably will not need braces for a year or two and his x-rays doesn't show him having any wisdom teeth. The bad news is that he has an extra front tooth which will need to be pulled. Yesterday the kids had a movie night at church so I was already in my p.j.'s. I had to go inside and get them and then found out my boys couldn't leave until they picked up all the popcorn from their popcorn fight. Next time I write I'll tell you about our trip to Disneyland. The good news is that I didn't lose my family with my niece like I did at Lego Land in California.

Well I am back! What's been happening with my family is that the boys have finished football. They are going to start basketball in January. Last Saturday I went shopping with my neighbor and bought dinners for the next two weeks. Which has worked out so far it's just nice for me to know what I'm going to cook for dinner instead of deciding at dinner time. My daughter is in ballet on Mondays with her best friend. I got my hair cut this morning short because when my hair gets long it feels so heavy. On Thanksgiving Day the family and I are flying to California. I can't wait to see my whole family plus my grandparents. I miss getting together with my family at least once a month. I also had an ultrasound on Tuesday because my sides have been hurting and they said it felt as if my spleen was enlarged. First the doctor thought my mono was back but I haven't had that for two years. I decided to have an ultrasound just to find out what else it might be because what the doctor wanted to do was just give me something to take the pain away. But I want to find out what is really wrong not just the quick fix. My brother in law said I just need to move back to California. My sister told him he just wants me to move back because I am having the same problems he is having. My boys have been going to a chess club on Wednesdays and they are having a good time. I have only have been late picking them up once. Well hopefully I can remember to keep updated on my blog so me sister doesn't have to say it sure has been a long time since you have wrote on your blog.

I need to have some kind of routine on when I update my blog.  Lately I have been thinking a lot  about family. You have your extended and immediate family. I have been thinking a whole lot about my immediate family, since 5 years ago on the 20th of this month my brother died in a car accident leaving my house from just having dinner. I hope my  oldest brother knows how much I love him and how much I wish I lived closer to him and got to see him more. I am so thankful for my sister and I love her too. I'm so thankful we talk very often. When I am not helping with her problems she help me and listens to mine, and for that I am eternally grateful. Now for my mom and dad I am thankful that they raised me in the gospel my whole life. I didn't realize how thankful until after my accident and after I had a husband and kids of my own. I am also so excited that I have been on a diet for 4 weeks and so far I have lost 9 pounds and just have 21 more to go until I am at the weight I was before I started having kids or I can lose 36 more pounds and be the weight I was when I was a senior in high school. The picture I am putting with this blog are my moms parents. I have been thinking a lot about my grandparents.

Hello! I'm writing on my blog once again. You are probable thinking wow she must be really busy but the fact of the matter is I don't know why I haven't written in so long. Arianna and I were working on her spelling yesterday, so early this morning about 5 she came in my room and said " I can spell nintendo and started spelling it. I sent her back to bed and I should of got up to jog but I was too tired. But she came back in around 6 so I decided that I probably should get up and jog. I'm doing this thing where I don't eat sugar and carbohydrates and I have been doing it for 2 and a half weeks and I have already lost 4 pounds. I can tell the difference but when I ask my husband he says yes your getting there. Yesterday I volunteered in Robert's class and that was nice. I saw Nick at recess so I told him when he got home that I was going to run out on the playground and give him a big kiss. Then he told me well why didn't you. So I told him that he would of gotten so mad at me. Yes, Arianna tells me everyday that she loves school. That makes me happy. until next time.